True Friends are like Herpes . . . Just because you ignore them, it doesn't mean that they won't eventually kick your ass . . .

I recently was in a relationship where my girlfriend told me in several ways that I needed to give up a several (well, ok, ALL) of my very long-standing and close woman friends because their existence in my life threatened the fabric and strength of our love for one another.  Never mind that they were JUST friends, that many were married, had children, lived in other states.  They were dangerous and I had to give them up to save the relationship.  After many arguments and heated discussions, she would end with:  "Who do you love more, me or them?"

SO . . . I gave them up. . .  I stopped talking to/texting them without another word.  I thought I was proving an undeniable bond and love towards the one person who meant everything to me.  What greater sacrifice could there be to show someone you love them?

Over the next two months, though, we had several arguments, and she even left three times in some part due to her unwavering insistence that 'somehow' these women were still in my life despite my ever-increasing proof to the contrary.  She always came back when I would plead and insist and double my efforts to prove that she had nothing to worry about.

Eventually though, she left me and I just had to get off the roller coaster.  We had argued and fought ONLY about these specific few friends in my life that had been there for decades.  I had given them up, hadn't talked to them in months, but she just couldn't get over the feeling that, SOMEHOW, they were still there.  She had said she was always afraid they were there and couldn't take the arguing and fighting any more.  There is never any one reason people fight.  It is never that easy, but at the root of this particuilar relationship, was the need for there to be absolutely no other women in my life.  Even when this edict was true, it wasn't enough, and I just couldn't fight it any more.

So I let her go.

Shortly after she left and we stopped talking, the oldest and closest of those particularly banished friends called me up 'just to chat'.  I was dumbfounded.  After I told her why I hadn't talked to her, and the sacrifice I made, she simply told me that "Just because you gave up your friends, doesn't mean they gave up you.  You can't get rid of us that easy."  She said some other epic and thoughtful things that would make Bambi cry with joy.  Wisdom and truthfulness dripped from her voice.  I hung up with her, pondering what she had just told me.

I called up another friend that I hadn't talked to, apologized, and wanted to hear her thoughts on the situation.  She had explained to me that true Friendship, male or female, is a much stronger bond in some ways than love.  Friends do not require the maintenance that a loved one may need.  She also let me know that true friends do not judge you, nor demand things of you.  She told me that True Friends are like Herpes . . . Just because you ignore them, it doesn't mean that they won't eventually kick your ass . . .

I thanked her for her words and hung up.  I had to lean back and think about what they had said to me.  In essence, both women had talked about the bond of true friendship, and how such a special bond is only strengthened by shared experiences and time.  Most importantly, they had said that true friendship is usually forever where relationships come and go.



After a while, I sighed, put my head in my hands and thought . . .  THOSE BITCHES!

Sorry . . . What I REALLY took away from this was that if a girl asks me to give up my friends for her, then she is less of a friend herself and not really worth my time.  Hopefully this has taught me to to be truer to myself, and I won't get into so much trouble next time.

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